Some Bad Dad Jokes For Your Thanksgiving Festivities
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
Hispanic magician says he will disappear on the kind of three.
He says Uno… Dos…Poof!
He disappeared without a trace.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said thanks. I said don’t mention it.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
Why do the French eat so much escargot?
Because they don’t like fast food.
A man walks into a library and orders some fish and chips.
The librarian says “this is a library”.
The man says “oh sorry”.
Then he whispers, “I’ll have some fish and chips”.
What did the mother cow say to her calf?
It’s pasture bedtime.
What do you call a bee that cannot make its mind up?
A maybee.
What mouse has two legs?
(They will probably say Mickey mouse)
What duck has two legs?
(They will probably say Donald Duck)
(Answer) All ducks have two legs! Silly Goose.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot because you can catch a cold.
For our more mature audience (these are still clean!)
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile
What do you get when you cross an elephant in a rhinoceros?
Ellifino! (Hell if I know!)
A preacher and his friend were walking through the woods one day, and they hear a rustling in the bushes.
All of a sudden out pops a bear!!!
The friend starts to panic but the preacher says, don’t worry, my friend just pray with me.
The preacher begins to pray “ Lord, please turn this bear into a good Christian bear”
The two of them open their eyes, and sure enough, the bear is on his knees praying as well!
And as the bear prays he says: “Father thank you for this meal that I am about to receive.”
Want to hear a joke about a beaver?
It will be the best dam joke you’ve ever heard.
We've got more where that came from! So schedule a sit down meeting with us to have some donuts, coffee and to hear some more quality dad jokes. We don't bite, we just love meeting business owners.
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